Wednesday, October 19, 2005

What About MY Happiness???

A SMS (text) message from a loved one made me rush out of the house this noon. We met a nearby mall where I learned that there was a big possibility that we would be apart (in distance). Apparently tempers had finally flared up against cousin-in-law who had been rude and and a verbal abuser for quite some time. Unfortunately that relative owned the house. No final decisions had been made. Everyone involved in the verbal fight had retreated for the time being to lick their wounds.

The idea of being apart from someone I loved (despite it just a big probability) left me stunned. YES, I wanted the best for both of us… but I couldn't bring myself to admit that maybe some time in the province (with immediate family… but far away from me) was for the best. All I could think of was:
"What about me?"
"Couldn't you just have let the comments pass through your ears as you always have done?"
It was selfish of me - I don't know what its like to live with someone like that, and maybe I would flare up too - but I couldn't help it… "What about US?" "What about ME?" was all I could think of. Deep inside I knew that I supported whatever decision would result but it was a conflict of MY interest.

A few weeks ago, a friend whom I got to know here at blogger was in a somewhat similar situation. She had been, for almost 2 decades, dealing with the dependence of her loved one on substances. She finally came to the decision that if that loved one could not confront the addiction, she would leave him. That fateful day came. But when she told her kids about her decision…
"...They think that I am not thinking about their happiness. That I want to up root them from their home, family and life. They think I should just let him get high if he wants and not care..."
I can emphasize WITH HER KIDS! It’s easy to say, "Turn a blind eye", "Let is pass through your ears", "Let it be (as long as no physical harm is done to you)" when you're not the one in that situation. All we think about is, "What about MY happiness."

I managed to blurt out without coming to tears that I would be supportive of whatever would be (which was true). I'm still waiting for what happens next.

(PS: More power to you DayByDay4-2Day and may God bless you always.)


When I got home, I saw this offline YM message from someone:
mamamatay daw ung mother mo kpg d pnasa (Your mom is going to die if you don’t pass this message) ..except the sender of this message ra69966996 : Pas ds word "God ur so nice!" to 20 of ur frends. f 5 comes back, ur fmly will be safe, f u ignore it 1 of your love may die in 2006...-sowee dudes,, but i luv my 2 mums..
After what I had just been through, I wasn't in any mood at all for this b*llsh*t. I replied:
I hope they die
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