Top Ten Historical Figures
14 hours ago
What he has and what he has accomplished is what makes you feel secure and stable. Before you may have thought that feat was but a mere fantasy, like you're chasing your own fairy tale for it to materialize. After long bouts of being proven wrong, you go frantic doubting its existence
Then here comes him, someone who has the thing you crave the most. You let down your walls because you know he has his down, and why wouldn't he. It's something that words can't justify.
Genetics vs Environment... that debate has gone on for ages. It's a bit of both between for me. I was born with a bit more potential to be different but it was the environment that made that potential into a reality.
There were signs when I was a kid - I always had a "best" friend who was always a guy I really wasn't that close with. Most of my friends were girls. I was a bit nerdy, an introvert, and not into sports... There was no dominant female figure, or an abusive uncle or cousin... no traumatic experience such as a heartbreak.
It was simply insecurity that pushed me to the other side. The unconscious admiration I had for other guys also made me look at myself and see that I wasn't as athletic, as good looking, as popular as these other guys.
I'm speaking as someone looking back here when I say that the insecurity I felt when I was younger somehow led me to believe that i was "less of a guy" and the desire I had to be "like" the other guys was somehow warped to feel like I "liked" other guys.
So years of that psychologic environment acted on the inborn potential... and here I am.... born out of insecurity. Unable to change what has been and unsure of what will be.