Saturday, March 31, 2012

Tell Me, All Is Well

It wasn't a week to be proud of. Mistakes were made and tempers (mine most of he time) were flying. We tried our best to be professional with the other even if our personal opinion of the other was far from friendly.

Even the slowest to loose her temper, lost it when she crossed paths with the staff of another section who (maybe) was having her own bad day. She was trembling from trying to control her anger. And then she said that in times like these, she wanted to go home to her kid and husband whom she was sure would calm her nerves.

Three days earlier, I was in her situation. The anger kept me restless and sleepless for 2 nights. It was futile trying to calm down, to try to control my frustration. Even trying to forgive didn't work.

I was looking for some way to rechannel the anger and convert it to something else. I tried of thinking of something stupidly expensive to buy (the last time this happened… well, I have an iPhone now) and ended up ordering a lens for my DSLR but thankfully the weather made me cancel the exchange. Watching a movie didn't work. Sex… well, I don't think that would work either (was worried it would just add to the frustration).

SMS, IMs, PMs, tweets…

In the end you realize that all you need is someone to hold you tight and say, "everything's going to be all right."

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Ties that Bind

My "generation" of cousins were just kids during our 1st reunion. It was like christmas - we were still easily awed by simple things. The internet was unknown. There were no cellphones yet. Telegrams and snail mail were still used. Travel was stressful but was an adventure in our eyes. Playing in the corn fields, chasing fireflies and swimming with water buffalos - That was our age of innocence.

In our 3rd reunion, a younger generation of cousins were present. They grew up overseas under the influence of the internet. My generation was still finding our way through our chosen careers.

This April we will be having another reunion. Our grandmother - the matriarch of our family - has turned 80 and is the major reason for the reunion. It is a big possibility that this will be her last. We are now all grown up and many cousins have married and some have kids of their own. We used to be less than a thousand miles apart but now it’s time zones that separate us. And yet, the world is smaller because of Facebook.

Because of our different schedules and the logistics involved we will only be complete on the evening of April 5th. The next day, some will have to go on their way. But that short time will be enough to strengthen the ties that bind us as a family.

I wonder if we’ll ever have another reunion when our grandma isn’t present anymore. She is the core in which all our family ties intersect. It’s fortunate that somehow I will be present.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

What's In A Kiss

There was a time when I didn't give a 2nd thought about kissing someone who didn't mind being kissed by me.

Recently I found myself beside someone, close enough for breathing to be heard and yet I hesitated. The possible consequences of going through with it ran through my mind: strained friendships, betrayal of trust, loss of respect, possible heartache...

Kissing never was this complicated before. And never before did I consider the pandora's box that might be opened just because of a simple kiss.

I didn't open it that night.

I opened it the following night.

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