In my previous post I mention that IF I learned to feel good about myself, my whole (outlook on) life would change. The problem was that the #1 source of my inability to love myself was my weight. I weighed 105lbs for almost 15 yrs! It was ok when I was younger but as I got older I looked like I was starving.
The problem was that eating really wasn't something I enjoyed. Add this to the fact that I had a bit of obsessive-compulsive traits in me. When I was doing something, I could hardly be bothered to eat. When I was struggling with anxiety I didn't want to eat.
It was enough for me not to fill hungry but I rarely felt full (of food). For most it's difficult to loose weight but I suffered from the opposite.
I knew what the source of my poor self image was, but it was next to impossible for me to do something about it. I tried all kinds of appetite stimulants but none worked for me. Forget about being content and happy because every time I looked in the mirror or saw a picture of myself... and I didn't like what I saw.
After finishing my medical degree, I postponed specialty training and worked in a private clinic. One day, a person who supplied some medicines to the clinic mentioned that she use to be skinny and a certain Chinese medication worked wonders for her appetite. She gave me the name of the pill and where to buy it.
Of course I was skeptical, but I just tried it anyway...
It worked! I suddenly had this craving for food. Even bland tasting food tasted good to me. I would get up during midnight to get something to eat and during mornings I didn't care if I was late for work as long as I ate breakfast. I was full all the time and kept eating all the time.
In a matter of 3 months, I gained 25 lbs! that was enough to change my life. Clothes fit better, I started going to the gym regularly and I liked the way I looked in pictures!
There are days when I feel as if I wasted my time when I should have started my specialty training, then I remember that If I started training immediately I would have never been able to meet the lady who told me about this pill. I would have been the same old miserable me.
