Here We Go Again

2003 - then Lt. Antonio Trillanes IV took control of Oakwood Premiere Ayala Centre Hotel in Makati City, the financial capital of the Philippines. He was allegedly frustrated with the way the Philippine Government took (no) care of their own armed forces - inadequate equipment, inappropriate training, and poor compensation. After negotiations, the "Oakwood Mutiny" ended peacefully.

2007 - despite still ongoing court hearings because of his role in the "Oakwood Mutiny" Trillanes was allowed to run for a position in the Philippine Senate - he won.

November 29, 2007 - during one of the court hearings, Trillanes and his men suddenly walked-out of the courtroom and soon walked into the Manila Peninsula Hotel, just a few meters away from Oakwood and setup a "control center" there.

This latest incident, although had more action - teargas was used, ended up peacefully a few hours later.

Maybe he'll run for president in 2010...

As for now we have a 12mn-5am curfew as a security precaution.

It's either we Filipinos have a very short memory, or are just very forgiving people.

First Love

I should have been wrote about this long ago but I could never get past the first paragraph. I hope I get to finish this time.

I finally managed to move on after falling for my best friend. But it took me quite a number of years till I found a special someone. I think it was 3 years. Not that I think about it, I really must have been ugly to take so long to get someone. It wasn't as if I didn't go out - I didn't go to bars or other night spots, but thanks to the internet, especially MIRC, i managed to hook up with others few times a week.

It just happened that one of the persons I met up with brought a long his best friend. I guess it was love-at-first site for me - but that's always the case with me. Anyway the person I met up with wanted to go to bars which wasn't something I enjoyed, and fortunately his best friend didn't want to go either. So we just say in the van and got to know each other. I'm not sure if other people like me go through the whole dating and courtship stage... it's never happened to me... So after 3 days we were officially "partners".

We lasted about 4 months - I think he tried to make "us" work - but I guess he had someone else in mind. Anyway, my course that time required me to go out of town for a month-long internship. When I came back things were different and I didn't see him again for another 3 months. He said he was busy with his feasibility study. What really hurt that time was not knowing where I stood with him. I'd rather hear it out loud then be left in limbo.

Anyway that was the first of my relationships. I'll try to post about those that followed, too.

Wish I Had No Choice

Everyday that has passed by since my last post, I have been fighting the urge to reach out, just drop and forget my issues, and let things go back to the way it was. Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't fight it and just give in... but somehow I want more time to think things over, to be able to clearly know what I want.

I wish I had no choice - because then all that would be left for me to do would be to accept. But I have a choice, and every hour of the day I'm torn over which of the choices to act on.

It's not as simple as asking, "do I love him?"

I Love the Way You Loved Me

You may never read this.

You were everything I always hoped for but never thought I'd find. You made me feel safe, protected, & loved. You gave me flowers. No matter how stubborn I was, you stepped back and remained patient with me. I know I was pushing your limits but you denied yourself the satisfaction of putting me in my proper place. You gave me flowers. You made me blush.

Why am I not fighting to keep you from going? I honestly don't know. It's not a question of love. If it was, then things would be a lot simpler. I've been looking deep inside trying to find out what's wrong but nothing makes sense.

Look at our big fights - they happened during those times when I should have been supportive and at your side. Instead, I added to your troubles. I'm starting to realize that I'm selfish, wanting everything to be about "me". I'd like to think that that's the reason I'm not putting up a fight. I'd like to think that I want you to be with someone a lot more deserving of your attention.

Part of me is hoping that you won't try to patch things up and let things be. Maybe the problem is that I don't really know what I want.

Maybe if you read this, you'll try to get back together. Think things through - why would you want to do that? We both know that I'm not as big a loss to you as you are to me. Many would disagree but we both know its true. You have so much more to offer the person you love.

Maybe if you read this, you'll wish we never met. Maybe that would be best.

There are others who'll love me or would want the chance to love me. Maybe they'll love me more than you ever did. But, no one can express love the way you did.

You may never read this.

The reason for this post, I don't know. I don't know how to end it either. You gave me flowers.