Thursday, July 13, 2006

Time of Death . . .

It was bound to happen sooner or later - I'm both relieved and anxious that it happened this way: Around 1:30AM i was in dreamland when i woke up to the sound of our doorbell ringing. I ignored it for about 15 minutes (my room's the one nearest the front door) but when it didn't stop, i had to get up. It was a fellow church member from a nearby house. Her mother had been suffering from lung cancer and had slowly been deteriorating that they decided that it was best that she pass away in her home with her loved ones around her - well, it finally happened. All they needed was for a doctor to declare that she had indeed passed away.

We walked to their home, i knew what i was supposed to do but i was a bit apprehensive. Her body was already cold, no breathing, no hearbeat, no pulse, no blood pressure, pupils dilated .... time of death 2:08AM.

I got home around 2:30AM i couldn't sleep. I know it sounds stupid but i was really afraid that i might have missed out on some sign of life. I was afraid that once the morgue got to the body they would discover that she was just in a comatose state... i was worried about my reputation (which i was just starting to build).

The fact that someone losed a loved one was the last thing on my mind. I actually feel guilty that i couldn't empathize with them
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