Its Better to Give... If You Can Afford to

Its been 2 weeks now that i've been feeling down. I first i couldn't place what was bothering me. Now i must be feeling sorry for myself.

I'm not happy with myself particularly my financial status. I have a post-graduate degree and i still don't earn enough to be on my own.

What really gets to me is I still can't buy things for the people I close to me. Call me materialistic but its one way I show them I care.

I want to buy a gift for my mom, an ipod for my sis, a psp for my brother, a camera for my boyfriend, and something for myself too. At my age i should be able to do that but i'll hve to decide who goes first... Then i'll feel guilty because I spent all my savings on one person =( and feel bad coz i have nothing left for myself.

Daybyday4-2day:
I think my parents know but i'm not sure. I think i've always known but i only realized it when i was 19.
Its more accepted nowadays but not like in some parts of the US.

I was brought up speaking english.
For me, its important that my partner has a sense of selfworth... Aside from the usual understanding, romantic & handsome of course :)

Battlestar Galactica

I enjoy movies about space, aliens, spaceships... Years ago I looked forward to episodes of the original Battlestar Galactica. I was excited when they announced to revive the series.

I bought dvd copies of the 1st 3 seasons. The 1st 2 seasons were ok but the 3rd season started to become a pain. I mean i got tired of crazy Gaius Baltar, the 'religious' robot Cylons, and the domestic issues they had in space - i mean labor unions, presidential elections, abortion debate, family problems... Where did the space dog fights go?!

3 more episodes to go... Its now just for the sake of finishing the series. Where's Spock when you need him? =)

More "Me!", "Me!", "Me!"...

July 31

My partner is still feeling a bit down.... and wonder of wonders - I'm starting to feel angry. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that I was jealous that someone else or something was making him feel depressed - and not me!... I should be the ONLY one who could make him feel depressed... Me! Me! Me!

...if i'm that inconsiderate, the next thing I would do would be to show him I'm irritable, angry for no reason at all. If he gets more depressed, i'd be happy because it means I'm still important to him... Me! Me! Me! - of course, instead of being of help to him i'd be another thing for him to worry about - which would feed my ego and make it feel better (sigh)

focus! focus! have to remember that i can't be the center of his world "all the time"...

...should be happy with "most of the time"

...or "half the time"

=(

It's Not Always About Me

I think I have this bad habit of making things always about "Me". It often happens when my special someone gets depressed... At the start I seem to be understanding (he has a stressful job), then I try to help.

But when he still is depressed, I start thinking, "hey, I'm here with you. You should be happy." and it's usually followed by, "Am I the reason you're depressed?"

Thankfully, most of the time, I don't say those thoughts out loud. But it has the bad effect of making me feel bad at the same time when someone needs my company. Those thoughts become a handicap making me unable to be genuinely concerned. It becomes about "me".

Your Chance to Test God

"Bring ye all the TITHES into the storehouse...
and PROVE me now, SAITH THE LORD of hosts,
if I will not open you the windows of heaven,
and pour you out a blessing,
that there SHALL NOT BE ROOM ENOUGH
to receive it."
-Malachi 3:10

This is my favorite Bible verse. I have difficulty with the idea of faith - the part that you believe in something you can't see. But this verse is simple: Give Tithe and God will bless me. Heck! He even challenges us to put Him to the test.

What is TITHE - It's simply 10% of everything you gain - income, allowance, interest, harvest... etc... If you earn $1000/month that means that $100 is your tithe. According to the Bible this Tithe belongs to God and SHOULD be returned to Him. In fact it's supposed to be Holy and SHOULD NOT be used even during life and death situations.

THE CHALLENGE:

Well, God himself said that we could test Him in this aspect... so if you decide to take up the challenge, when you receive your paycheck this end of the month, do the following:

1. Set aside 10% (Tithe) of your income - that's AFTER taxes and BEFORE again, BEFORE any bills or expenses.
2. Give the Tithe to your church immediately so that you won't be tempted to spend it. (It's not in God's hands if you still have it somewhere where you can get to it).
3. Wait for 1 month and see if God keeps His promise.

If you believe in God, you have nothing to loose, and a lot to gain.

If you don't believe in God, this is your chance to prove Him wrong.