1993-1995
After my first "best friend", i went through puberty :) It was when I was in 3rd year highschool (we have 4 years in high school) that i found another "best friend". Unlike the 1st, this time I actually was in the same group as him so it wasn't difficult to actually become a friend.
I enjoyed spending time, helping in homework, giving advice, etc etc. Although occasionally I couldn't help but notice that he had broad shoulders and a V-shaped back... I just pushed it out of my mind.
... Then he started courting this girl... everything went downhill. I found myself waiting for him (at least his call) that he had come home during the evenings, i literally demanded to know when he was all the time, i couldn't understand what I felt (later known as jealousy) when the 2 of them were together. It even came to a point that I thought I was jealous because I also liked the girl!
Highschool became torture for me. I couldn't understand why I was feeling those emotions... anger, envy, jealousy... i knew i should be happy for him... but it was hard to be.
There were many many sleepless nights - tossing and turning, worrying... maybe worrying that they were getting intimate. I tried to reason to myself that it was normal. I tried to explain why i was reacting this way but nothing could explain everything.
Then I thought - what if I was in-love with my bestfriend?
Everything fell into place.
But it was too late for me. I was in-love with my best friend. If only I knew it was possible, I wouldn't allow it to come this far.
