Work = Sanity

Another hard truth I have to accept about my life - my work, no matter how stressful, keeps me sane. I may have a hard time getting up in the morning especially on a holiday and I may think that I should be sleeping in late and enjoying the great weather, then spend the whole day relaxing maybe watching TV.

But the reality is I would be wide awake in my bed thinking of whom to possibly spend the day with and most likely turn to PR, Grindr, WeChat to try and hook up. It may or may not work. If it does, I'd find myself in a mall anticipating the "date" and get angry since he's bound to be late and then feel regret about spending what little money I have on a movie with someone not even capable of carrying on a simple conversation.

If it doesn't work, I'll drag myself out of bed before lunch and then regret staying in bed for too long. After lunch it'll be back to bed or try watching TV and procrastinate reading. Then before I know it, evening will arrive and I'll get mad at myself for wasting the day and not accepting the invite of some random guy on the net whom I'm not really that into, thinking that anything could be better than how I just spent my day.

The bitter truth is that when I'm at work, I can't make stupid compulsive decisions with regards to my social life. I can't blame myself for wasting time. I can't spend my money for anything aside from food - and I'm too lazy even to eat. And I won't have to go through the anxiety of trying to meet someone new.

So I really should be happy that I'm on duty on a holiday. I should. Yey :(


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