Our Only "Mistake"?

One of the Seasons was found out by his parents. It wasn't his choice, but someone else outed him because of selfish reasons. He's going through a difficult time right now.

"...I've been good kid, son, a brother - with my whole life; with one "mistake?" they cannot accept and understand me. I am not a killer, neither nor a gambler, to be hated and treated this way. I am their son, their brother..."

It breaks my heart. I know what he feels. It's not just the words you hear from the people you love that hurt, its the feeling that you're a disappointment to them, that you've hurt them. I don't know which is worse.

Sometimes I'd like to shout to everyone's face that it wasn't a choice, there wasn't a defining moment when anyone of us chose this path. It isn't an illness that can be cured.

As Good As It Gets

A year ago I made this post about my then 2-year relationship. Basically I wanted more than what the person could offer. I knew I was loved, but I wanted to feel that I was, not just know.

I let go of that person then. But that was the person I really really wanted things to work out with. I wanted be content with what I had. I tried to rationalize that physical expressions of affection - hugs, cuddles, kisses, an arm on your shoulder was not as important as loyalty and KNOWING that I am loved.

But I couldn't be content. I let go. I wasn't the only one who got hurt.

Now, after a year we crossed paths again. Everything feels the same. I haven't lost any feelings I had before. Everything and everyone around me just vanishes whenever we're together. I know I've been missed as well. I know that we both want to say that things will be the same again.

Nothing has changed. That's what's holding me back. Nothing has changed. I am still loved but I want to feel it, too.

There's always this question: "would you rather be with someone you love? or with someone who loves you?" - I always answer, "with the one I love."

Then why is it so difficult now?