Sleepless

It was by accident that she saw the sign to the clinic and by compulsion that she decided to come in for consultation instead of going to her usual doctor. She looked as if she had the whole world on her shoulders, and maybe she had. She appeared in her 60s even though she was just in her early 40s.

I haven't been able to sleep for the past couple of days.
I conducted the usual history taking and she admitted that she was going through a tough time for the past couple of weeks. We never went into the details but it seemed to involve her grandchildren. She was fighting back tears when she admitted that it was her worries that prevented her from getting much needed rest.

It was one of those rare instances where sleeping pills were needed. But I told her that the best remedy was to get away from the problem for a couple of days and gain a new perspective on how to deal with what was troubling her.

She took the prescription for the pills and left.

After 2 weeks she was back. Her face was brighter and she didn't appear as tired as when I first saw her.

I stayed with my sister these past few days and I'm sleeping much better even without the pills.

She felt she had gathered enough energy to go back to her home and deal with the same problems as before. There were still the same problems and she still didn't know how to solve them. But she had a more positive outlook now.

Those few days away gave her some breathing room to think and reassess how she could deal with things.

But just in case, she asked for another prescription for the sleeping pills, just in case...

Meditational Music

I've always had a bit of obssessive-compulsiveness in my personality. Not as bad as before but once in a while it shows up. Mostly it's thoughts that keep on replaying in my head - the "what ifs" of something I have to make a decision about. Then it's usually followed by a headache because of too many thoughts running about in my head and the chaos that results.

I had one such episode today. I was thinking about my character in the role playing game Dragon Age. Yup, a computer game. Somehow the choices of what attributes to focus on, spells to use, weapons and armor to wear, companions to choose gave me a headache :D I wasn't even playing since I was at work, I was just thinking about my ongoing game. Pretty soon I had a headache.

My previous post about OmmWriter, a software that tried to provide a relaxing environment to allow writers and bloggers to focus on what they were writing about came to mind. Maybe the music included in the program would allow me to relax since it was supposed to be meditational music. I didn't think so, but I started the program and put earphones on.

Immediately the thoughts in my mind were just gone and the headache vanished. There was order. Somehow the music was the only thing I could focus on and it brought quiet to my mind. *wondering* So that is how meditational music works.

Now my compulsiveness is clicking in and I have several megabytes of Zen music waiting in queue to be downloaded - for those times when I can't hear because of the chaos of my thoughts.

Emotions on Thanksgiving Week

This was some week.

APPREHENSION. about the upcoming licensure exams this coming sunday and monday. This should have been the only thing on my mind but somehow, it was the least of my worries. I’m worried because I don’t feel worried.

OUTRAGE. at the IMPUNITY (this is the strongest word I could find) of the people behind the massacre in Maguindanao where 57 people, all civilians were brutally killed while exercising their democratic rights. Either the masterminds were SOOOO STUPID to think that they could get away with it or they were so brazen because they KNEW they WOULD get away with it. And after seeing the government’s actions so far, they might actually get away with it.

WORRY. Our 8 year old dalmatian had to be admitted to a vet clinic. He had been straining every time he pees for the last 2 weeks. We were planning to take him to the vet after the exams but last Wednesday, he couldn’t even get a drop out. EMERGENCY. Turns out dalmatians are prone to kidney stone formation and that seems to be the case because there were stone fragments after he was catheterized. I’m worried because we might have to decide to have him put down if he doesn’t improve. I don’t know if I can handle being part of that decision.

PRIDE. yes, there was a good thing that occurred. A Filipino, Efren Peñaflorida was awarded by CNN as hero of the year for his pushcart classrooms. It reminds me that there still are selfless people here and not just the power-hungry, soul-less bastards that caused my feelings of outrage.

I'm looking and hoping for a quiet week ahead.

Pet Peeve #3: Q & A

I had this professor in college who was a lawyer. He taught Philippine Constitution and Ethics and Logic. The one thing that impressed me was that he insisted that us students answer ONLY what was asked of up. If the question required a “yes” or “no” answer, that was all that was needed. I don’t know if its a cultural thing to Filipinos or that it doesn’t matter where you come from - that you have this tendency to answer more than what the question calls for.

Which brings me to my 3rd Pet Peeve - it really gets on my nerves when people during debates, panel discussions, pageants or any other public presentations don’t seem to listen to the question. I was unfortunate enough to attend church during which students who volunteered for a religious outreach activity were asked some questions about their experience.

There were 3 boys and 4 girls (I think) in that group and listening to their answers one by one really made my face flush with frustration. For example the question, “what was your most memorable experience during the outreach?” the key word being MOST. Still, every one of them gave multiple experiences. And listening to each one answer the question, “Would you still consider joining future outreach activities?” with YES, because blah blah blah blah really got to me.

I picked a bad time to leave my mobile phones at home. Texting is my stress outlet, and during this time I was really getting stressed out.