In a previous post by my blogger friend, Barbara, she asked the opinion of her readers if happiness was really a choice. I agreed that happiness is a conscious choice we make. But again I'm presently realizing that it's a difficult choice and it always depends on how contented we are with what we have.
When I say it's a choice, I automatically try to be happy but that's not the way it works. All I end up doing is pretending to be happy, hoping that somehow what I'm showing on the outside will overcome what I really feel inside.
It's not happiness when you're smiling with a heavy heart. Making the choice to be happy is the easy part. Feeling happy is the hard part
There is one sure way to be happy, though - help others. That never fails. Maybe because when you're helping others you forget about yourself and you feel happy when that person gets through his or her ordeal. Of course you'll again go back to your miserable self afterwards... That's why you have to help another person.
I missed that post!
ReplyDeleteYou know, it's kind of funny. As a person who believes we shape our own realities by our thoughts and deeds, it would seem natural for me to jump right to the conclusion that happiness really is a choice. And yet I'm hesitant to do so.
I suppose because I don't feel it's a choice along the lines of "shall I have spaghetti or roast beef for dinner?" Happiness is much more complex than that. In many ways it's a continual choice, and even a matter of perspective and outlook. So "choosing" to be happy is a matter of changing one's perspective and outlook. That's certain possible, but a rather complex and involved process that takes time.
Of course, I'm also concerned about how "happiness is a choice" might be interpreted by some. After all, we all have our down days, and troubling situations are bound to get us bummed out. And I don't think it's a good idea to deny that fact or try to immediately force ourselves to not experience or accept those emotional responses to a given situation. (And I think it'd be even worse to "pretend you're happy" like you describe in your post.) Sometimes, I do think we just need to accept we're having a down day. And really, that's not a bad thing unless our down days are vastly outnumbering our up days.
-- Jarred.
Hey, how come Jarred is commening on your blog but not mine :(
ReplyDeleteJust kidding!
I agree with you on this, I think helping someone almost always lifts my spirits. I also agree that happiness is not an easy choice to make. I think for people like us (who long to be in a loving relationship with someone special) its very hard to be content. I feel like something is missing in my life. I am trying very hard to accept it may never happen.
Barbara,
ReplyDeleteBecause Rygel's cuter. *grins, ducks, and runs* ;)
-- Jarred.
Maybe it is more about choosing to be content with the difficulties of life?
ReplyDeleteLayla and Jarred thanks for making me laugh out loud :) Kansas Bob I definitely agree.
ReplyDeletewe really have our "down" days maybe some more than the others. But I believe we have the choice to dwell on the problems or think of a solution, not of the problem.
not easy really