Now
I'm at that point where I'm trying to decide - should I stick and content myself with what i've had for the past 2 years? or should i let go and try to find something better?
Sooner or later I'll clear things up about what's going on. But for now I just need to be able to get things out. What do you do when you get to the point where "it's as good as it gets"? Yes, he loves me, BUT he'll never love me the way I love him because he just can't. He loves me the best he can but it'll never be the way I want to be loved.
It would be an easier decision if there was someone to catch me. There are possibilities but you can never be sure until you're 'there'. Should I continue to deny what I want and be content with what is already there?
I know he doesn't love "ME" rather he loves the "WAY" I love him... but isn't that also "ME"? I'm confused. Ironies of ironies - i've about 50+ persons in my phonebook that know about who I am but no one I want to talk to. No one there to understand that I just want someone to listen. I don't want someone who'll fall for me while listening to me. Just someone to listen.
Don't worry, I'm ok. I'm just... ???????
I'm kind of overwhelmed by the fact that you wrote this...only because I felt that EXACT same way about my last boyfriend. I spent two years asking myself if this was as good as it got or should I move on in hopes that the one love of my life was out there waiting to be found. I knew by bf loved me, but always felt he loved me because of "the way I loved him" so did he really even love ME? The ME I wanted to be loved, appreciated and acknowledged for?
ReplyDeleteRy, I am hugging you right now. It s no fun at all to be in the position you're in.
For me - I ended up leaving my bf and am glad I did because I would have been struggling still wondering. Sadly, I am still alone and very depressed...but I'm an old woman and you are a handsome, smart, loving young man...you deserve to find the right man to love you the way you deserve.
I have felt this and I'm sure alot of other people have too. There is a reason for this...
ReplyDeleteWe are not happy with ourself. Once a person can respect, love and really like one's self for who they are then that person wont have the need to have approval, love or gratification from another.
It took me 16 years in my relationship to realize that I need to love myself as much as I love him.
love confused..
ReplyDelete