Scenario:
Ted is an accountant in his late 30s (which is very old in the gay world). He's already used to being turned down by guys everytime he visits bars. One night he notices a good-looking young guy apparently showing interest in him. At first he ignores the guy, thinking its too good to be true... but it turns out that the guy is interested in him... they hook up for the night. Ted thinks that its a start of something.
A few days later, Ted finds out that the guys idea of "charity" is occasionally hooking up with "pathetic" guys during special occasions but only for one night.
2 years later, Ted has worked out, had some cosmetic surgery done. He comes across the same guys (who is still good-looking). The guy doesn't recognize Ted and likes Ted (not love but at least really likes). Ted is still attracted to the guy but is decided on giving him a taste of his own medicine... so after a few dates and nights together, Ted dumps the guy (even if he likes him).
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Do you think that was the right thing to do? I mean the REALITY is Ted was right in thinking it was too good to be true... I mean hot young guy and him, nearing 40...
Shouldn't Ted be proud and happy for himself that he was able to improve himself to the point that the guy who thought he was pathetic and plays around with other guys did a U-turn and really liked Ted this time?
Was he justified in getting even? the guy didn't promise him anything when they first met.
I know we should have have good self esteem and a sense of self worth but sometimes i think we should be aware of reality too. I've been turned down (sometimes rudely) lots of times before... i don't think poorly of myself... but i know i'm not drop dead gorgeous (wish i was though). I've improved a lot (still not drop dead gorgeous) but a lot better than before... and if any guy who turned me down before likes me today, i don't think i'd hold any resentment against him for what he did in the past.
I need to think this over and I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteReady for a nice long comment? There is so much here to respond to. I see several issues here.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I find it interesting that most men (gay or straight) seem to be more concerned with the outward appearance than with the actual person. That to me, is sad. Sure we all want to look good and to be with nice looking people, but age 40 is NOT old!
Was Ted's revenge the right thing to do? No. I think he lowered himself to the same level as the other guy instead of rising above the situation and getting over it. Anyone who hangs out in a bar to meet another person for sex is asking for a one-night stand. He was foolish to think it would be more than that.
Yes, Ted should be happy that he looks better there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best. But it's who you are as a person that makes you attractive. The young guy found the "new" Ted attractive because of surgery etc. he had done to improve himself, so really, it was still a false attraction....all about the outside.
You are right about reality. Its not fair but its a fact. There could be a sweet, smart, fun woman that was plain looking stanging next to a real bitch that was pretty with a nice body and who would all the guys go for? Its sad but true.
You, Rygel, are very good looking. You have boyish good looks and should feel very confident in yourself. You are also attractive on the inside.
I wonder if the world will ever change and people will look inside before outside....I kind of doubt it, at least when men are concerned.
Revenge is a dark road and one that is better never travelled.
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